Wednesday, 4 pm, somewhere in Norway
After a few tense and teary moments (tense = me, teary = the boy), we finally figured out exactly what needed to be studied for today's math test.
Fractions!
The assigned study sheet was procured through yet another trek back to school, whereafter we discussed the basics of denominators and adding and subtracting. The practice questions - courtesy of the study sheet - were in the vein of:
1/4 + 2/4 = ?
The boy was doing fine, but I was getting frazzled, trying to get him to study and finish my own work, when Mike offered to step in as homework monitor.
And promptly discarded the study sheet in favour of his own practice questions:
1/2 + 2/5 – 4/7 +1/7 = ?
Forget about learning to walk before you run, because, you know, his boy is soooo beyond that.
And never mind the boy looking more bewildered and confused than ever...
Showing posts with label Hopeless Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hopeless Parenting. Show all posts
27 Mar 2008
2 Feb 2008
Making It Work
The boys are beyond excited that their cousins are staying for the weekend. Dinner tonight is their favourite:
I'm just as thrilled that the kitchen is too small to fit all of us:
I'm just as thrilled that the kitchen is too small to fit all of us:
21 Jan 2008
Ice Day
Dear Principal Larsen,
As you know, last week's rain melted much of the snow around the school playground.
However, freezing temperatures over the weekend have covered the ground with a slippery sheet of solid ice. Since the school is in a small forest, with nary a flat surface in sight, this makes for extremely treacherous passage.
While we realize you have no control over the changing weather patterns, we feared broken bones had our boys (and, in particular, accident-in-waiting B boy) attended school today.
This explains why they were not present at attendance call this morning, and we hope you understand that we only acted with the best interests of our children in mind.
We also want to assure you that despite missing school, the boys did work very, very hard today.
In fact, they are absolutely wiped after a long day in our improvised classroom...
...where we covered science:
What goes up....
must come down:
...math:
How long does it take a 7 year old to complete a slalom run? What about an 11 year old?
...a vision test:
Who can spot the numbers on the chair lift?
...and even geography:
Name that town:
Our only regret is that we ran out of time before we could get to the ethics and morals class. We will be covering that subject later (just as soon as the boys have forgotten the meaning of the word truancy, which they picked up during our language class).
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Sincerely,
The Responsible Parents of Christopher and Benjamin
As you know, last week's rain melted much of the snow around the school playground.
However, freezing temperatures over the weekend have covered the ground with a slippery sheet of solid ice. Since the school is in a small forest, with nary a flat surface in sight, this makes for extremely treacherous passage.
Benjamin practicing the bum walk
While we realize you have no control over the changing weather patterns, we feared broken bones had our boys (and, in particular, accident-in-waiting B boy) attended school today.
This explains why they were not present at attendance call this morning, and we hope you understand that we only acted with the best interests of our children in mind.
We also want to assure you that despite missing school, the boys did work very, very hard today.
In fact, they are absolutely wiped after a long day in our improvised classroom...
...where we covered science:
What goes up....
must come down:
...math:
How long does it take a 7 year old to complete a slalom run? What about an 11 year old?
...a vision test:
Who can spot the numbers on the chair lift?
...and even geography:
Name that town:
Our only regret is that we ran out of time before we could get to the ethics and morals class. We will be covering that subject later (just as soon as the boys have forgotten the meaning of the word truancy, which they picked up during our language class).
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Sincerely,
The Responsible Parents of Christopher and Benjamin
3 Jan 2008
You're Both Going To Bed? Promise?!
Kellan from On the Upside wrote about a Saturday afternoon drive with her kids which made me giggle. If you haven't read it, you should do so now. I'll wait here. Really, go...!
[....waiting patiently....]
You're back? Yeah, I know, she's funny!
Yesterday at bedtime, my boys were told that today would be an electronics free day. Meaning a day without access to electronic toys, including the computer, their beloved DS consoles, the playstation, the television, etc. Today would be a day of good old-fashioned playing.
Our poor neighbours likely thought we'd sentenced our kids to 20 years of daily showering, judging from the whines, wails and heartfelt sobs echoing from our house when we broke the news to the boys.
But honestly, we were not trying to be cruel and unjust. We only wanted the children to take a break from all the electronic games they've been playing over the holidays. Heck, we even took them downhill skiing today - a wholesome, family friendly outdoor activity. No electronics required.
But we've been back from the slopes for a few hours now, and, quite frankly, my kids are driving me crazy. They apparently have no clue how to entertain themselves without electronic stimuli. At this very moment, my eldest is lying on a couch, stroking his hair, staring absent-mindedly into space. I can hear my youngest out in the kitchen, doing something with tape and glue that I am sure I will end up cleaning up.
Granted, most of their toys are in Canada, but in the short months we have been in Norway, they have managed to accumulate a respectable amount of playing things. You might think they could figure out how to sit down and play a quiet game of Monopoly, Uno or Scrabble? But noooooo....
Mike even dragged out an electric experiments kit which held their attention for...I dunno...5 seconds, before the kids left him to his own devices.
And while Mike was making sad magnetic fields all alone, the boys could only come up with a ridiculously silly game they've oddly named 'Meditating', which consists of whopping each other with pillows until Christopher falls off the bed and cries foul.
I suggested to the boys that they ask friends over, but they both refused. It is evidently impossible - or impossibly lame, more likely - to have other kids visiting without being allowed to play any electronic games.
So they've booked play dates for tomorrow instead. Because tomorrow has electronic privileges.
But wait - there's a silver lining! Benjamin just proclaimed with glee that it'll be tomorrow in only 3 hours, prompting Christopher to pipe up that he was going to sleep. And with that, they both decided to go to bed!
Soooooo.....it's 9 pm, and my boys are in bed. We’re celebrating with a bottle of red and some cheese, 'cause I think we may be on to something here...
Cheers and happy Thursday!
[....waiting patiently....]
You're back? Yeah, I know, she's funny!
Yesterday at bedtime, my boys were told that today would be an electronics free day. Meaning a day without access to electronic toys, including the computer, their beloved DS consoles, the playstation, the television, etc. Today would be a day of good old-fashioned playing.
Our poor neighbours likely thought we'd sentenced our kids to 20 years of daily showering, judging from the whines, wails and heartfelt sobs echoing from our house when we broke the news to the boys.
But honestly, we were not trying to be cruel and unjust. We only wanted the children to take a break from all the electronic games they've been playing over the holidays. Heck, we even took them downhill skiing today - a wholesome, family friendly outdoor activity. No electronics required.
But we've been back from the slopes for a few hours now, and, quite frankly, my kids are driving me crazy. They apparently have no clue how to entertain themselves without electronic stimuli. At this very moment, my eldest is lying on a couch, stroking his hair, staring absent-mindedly into space. I can hear my youngest out in the kitchen, doing something with tape and glue that I am sure I will end up cleaning up.
Granted, most of their toys are in Canada, but in the short months we have been in Norway, they have managed to accumulate a respectable amount of playing things. You might think they could figure out how to sit down and play a quiet game of Monopoly, Uno or Scrabble? But noooooo....
Mike even dragged out an electric experiments kit which held their attention for...I dunno...5 seconds, before the kids left him to his own devices.
And while Mike was making sad magnetic fields all alone, the boys could only come up with a ridiculously silly game they've oddly named 'Meditating', which consists of whopping each other with pillows until Christopher falls off the bed and cries foul.
I suggested to the boys that they ask friends over, but they both refused. It is evidently impossible - or impossibly lame, more likely - to have other kids visiting without being allowed to play any electronic games.
So they've booked play dates for tomorrow instead. Because tomorrow has electronic privileges.
But wait - there's a silver lining! Benjamin just proclaimed with glee that it'll be tomorrow in only 3 hours, prompting Christopher to pipe up that he was going to sleep. And with that, they both decided to go to bed!
Soooooo.....it's 9 pm, and my boys are in bed. We’re celebrating with a bottle of red and some cheese, 'cause I think we may be on to something here...
Cheers and happy Thursday!
10 Dec 2007
Oops
Monday mornings are always rough, but none more so than when the patient parent is far, far away in Canada, and the morning-challenged parent is left completely to her own devices.
Thus, I'm happy to report that this morning was surprisingly easy chez Viking Conquest. The boys were awesome at getting up, getting themselves dressed and sitting down to breakfast.
Meanwhile, I was groggily trying to assemble something remotely resembling a nutritious lunch for them (even though the muffins left over from last night's Advent celebrations were staring at me, daring me to pop them into each boys' lunch bag and call it a lunch.)
Anyhoo...
There I was, so focused on the task at hand, I didn't even realize I was softly singing to myself...until I heard my crazy 7-year-old loudly join in:
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
That's right. Pink. And while I like that song, it's not really...ehem...appropriate sing-along-material for 7 year olds. Or even oh-so-mature 10 year olds.
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
I guess I'll be changing my workout tunes today.
Thus, I'm happy to report that this morning was surprisingly easy chez Viking Conquest. The boys were awesome at getting up, getting themselves dressed and sitting down to breakfast.
Meanwhile, I was groggily trying to assemble something remotely resembling a nutritious lunch for them (even though the muffins left over from last night's Advent celebrations were staring at me, daring me to pop them into each boys' lunch bag and call it a lunch.)
Anyhoo...
There I was, so focused on the task at hand, I didn't even realize I was softly singing to myself...until I heard my crazy 7-year-old loudly join in:
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
That's right. Pink. And while I like that song, it's not really...ehem...appropriate sing-along-material for 7 year olds. Or even oh-so-mature 10 year olds.
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
I guess I'll be changing my workout tunes today.
6 Nov 2007
Homework At Our House
I'm sitting in our dining room watching, out of the corner of my eye, as Christopher prepares to do homework. He has just come home from a friend's house, it's 4:30 pm, and the sun is already setting. I've suggested he do his homework at the kitchen table, because the light is better there.
As I write this, I've counted him going back and forth from the kitchen to his school bag in the hallway 3 times. Each time carrying a single item from his bag. First his math book. Then his notebook. And finally, his pencil case.
There is no way a girl could've been this distracted, is there? She would have been able to get all three things out of her bag at once, surely? Or better yet, moved the school bag into the kitchen? Heck, most boys may even have thought of this. But not my Christopher. He's too busy chatting to anyone who'll listen to concentrate on what he should be doing.
[One hour later...]
Christopher continues to do his homework. He finished his math pretty quickly. Math is easy for that child, but he still manages to make it look horrendously complicated by being so. darn. messy.
He is now reading about Northern Norway. I understand that this is difficult for him, seeing as it is in Norwegian and all. But he has come into the dining room twice in the last 5 minutes with sentences starting like this: "You know, when we were in Hawaii last year..."
"Stop right there, Christopher! Unless Hawaii has suddenly become part of Northern Norway, you need to go back to your work." I say with as much firmness as my voice can muster (and believe you me, that's quite a lot).
He's clearly taken aback, because 2 minutes later I hear: "Are we having pizza toni..."
"Christopher! Nose. In. Book."
30 seconds later, realizing he's getting nowhere with me, he attempts this one on Mike: "Do you remember in Planet Earth, when the baby whale drank 3000 liters of milk a day?"
Mike acknowledges the question, says he can't deny that this is an interesting fact, but shouldn't Christopher be doing something else right now?
Why yes, he should. Northern Norway. Keywords in notebook. Now.
Please tell me it isn't just him?
*******************************************************
Rewind 4 hours, to when Benjamin came home from school happy as could be. Rosy cheeks from the crisp air, jacket unzipped, just to drive his mother batty. He bounced joyfully into the house and declared to no one in particular, "I don't want to do homework the very minute I walk in the door." (Never mind that he'd already played for 2 hours in the after school programme at school). I told him if he wanted to play outside for a while, he could do so while it was still light, but that as soon as he came inside, it would be homework time. No playing inside before homework was done.
Wouldn't you know that he proceeded to stay outside for an hour? Using his scooter, he went around and around and around the block. Aimlessly and without any purpose, other than avoiding homework.
*******************************************************
So I guess it isn't just Christopher after all...argh!
As I write this, I've counted him going back and forth from the kitchen to his school bag in the hallway 3 times. Each time carrying a single item from his bag. First his math book. Then his notebook. And finally, his pencil case.
There is no way a girl could've been this distracted, is there? She would have been able to get all three things out of her bag at once, surely? Or better yet, moved the school bag into the kitchen? Heck, most boys may even have thought of this. But not my Christopher. He's too busy chatting to anyone who'll listen to concentrate on what he should be doing.
[One hour later...]
Christopher continues to do his homework. He finished his math pretty quickly. Math is easy for that child, but he still manages to make it look horrendously complicated by being so. darn. messy.
He is now reading about Northern Norway. I understand that this is difficult for him, seeing as it is in Norwegian and all. But he has come into the dining room twice in the last 5 minutes with sentences starting like this: "You know, when we were in Hawaii last year..."
"Stop right there, Christopher! Unless Hawaii has suddenly become part of Northern Norway, you need to go back to your work." I say with as much firmness as my voice can muster (and believe you me, that's quite a lot).
He's clearly taken aback, because 2 minutes later I hear: "Are we having pizza toni..."
"Christopher! Nose. In. Book."
30 seconds later, realizing he's getting nowhere with me, he attempts this one on Mike: "Do you remember in Planet Earth, when the baby whale drank 3000 liters of milk a day?"
Mike acknowledges the question, says he can't deny that this is an interesting fact, but shouldn't Christopher be doing something else right now?
Why yes, he should. Northern Norway. Keywords in notebook. Now.
Please tell me it isn't just him?
*******************************************************
Rewind 4 hours, to when Benjamin came home from school happy as could be. Rosy cheeks from the crisp air, jacket unzipped, just to drive his mother batty. He bounced joyfully into the house and declared to no one in particular, "I don't want to do homework the very minute I walk in the door." (Never mind that he'd already played for 2 hours in the after school programme at school). I told him if he wanted to play outside for a while, he could do so while it was still light, but that as soon as he came inside, it would be homework time. No playing inside before homework was done.
Wouldn't you know that he proceeded to stay outside for an hour? Using his scooter, he went around and around and around the block. Aimlessly and without any purpose, other than avoiding homework.
*******************************************************
So I guess it isn't just Christopher after all...argh!
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