"There's no mice in Norway"

Moi to Mike - last year, after discovering suspicious signs in our cold room.

Translation: There are mice in Canada. And why do we live in Canada? Because one of us is Canadian. So, who's to blame for this mouse situation ? That would be...YOU.

I'll admit I was slightly wound up and possibly freaking out a tiny bit - I don't do well with rodents, so I'd had better days. You know, mouse-free days.

It didn't help matters that the mouse (mice?) appeared to have been making itself at home for a while. Who knew that a little thing like that - and possibly its extended family - can produce that many turds? It is D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

Mike got rid of the mouse. I do not know the details. All I can tell ya is that he came up from the basement with a plastic bag the next day. From a quick glance, I could tell the bag wasn't empty. [Shudder].

For the next many weeks, I avoided going down to the basement to exercise before he'd checked the many, many traps set up in the cold room. Just in case a tiny rodent - attached to a trap - was able to jump through the door from the cold room, across the play room and into the rec room, to scare me.

And there you have it, my friends. The true story of how we ended up in Norway for the year. We were chased out of Canada by a - deceased - mouse!

All righty, then, that may be a slight exaggeration. Perhaps we had planned this trip to Norway for years. But you have to admit - the timing was good! A year in mouse-free Norway.

Cue the happy music.

So, imagine my gobsmacked self when I heard a radio announcer declare this to be a particularly bad year for mice...in Norway.

What?!??!

(For a fleeting moment I thought I saw that look in Mike's eyes - the I TOLD YOU SO look. But I can't be sure, and he wisely didn't comment.)

I immediately consoled myself that this infestation was primarily a problem in southern Norway. Not where we are. We are in the south-east region of Norway. Really, mostly east. Just a little bit south.



Except that last night, while reaching under the sink to retrieve the compost container, to my horror, there they were.

Stop the happy music, start the Twilight Zone theme song.

The T.U.R.D.S. There was a mouse in the house. In Norway.

I say was because as of this morning, it is no longer. Also gone is my confidence that nothing lives in Norway but Norwegians and mosquitoes. Apparently, mice can live here, too.

PS: While Michael Moore clearly hasn't heard about the infiltration of rodents, the UN must have, as they just demoted Norway to the world's second best place to live. I'm considering moving to Iceland.

PPS: Special note to our friends now living in our house: Don't worry. We did get rid of that mouse, and forever sealed off the cold room from any outside access (why take chances?). It is now a warm room. Really. You're fine.